it's been a while

Wow, I can't believe how much has happened since I last came on here! It is so weird to go through old posts, they all just seem like such a long time ago.

Went to Kentucky

Went to Cabo for the second time

Took the boys on their first plane ride to NYC

Parker turned 4, then 5. Started T-k at his Elementary school

Hudson turned 2, then 3. Started preschool.

Garrett had his big 30.

We celebrated our 5th and 6th anniversaries.

We have been pregnant 3 times. 

Finally adding baby number three to our family this June after two extremely painful miscarriages last year.

Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. The most trying, painful, confusing, scary, faith strengthening, promising times in our lives. We kept going back and forth on whether we were going to add another baby to our family. I was a little more into the idea than Garrett, but we just kind of lived our lives and didn't plan anything out.

Well, we got pregnant. Not purposefully, but completely and fully welcomed.

6 1/2 weeks later, our baby was gone. Heartbroken and so much physical and mental pain I never expected to go through. In a sense, it was a blessing because we did realize just how much we wanted another baby. Not that it took losing our baby to know that, but it just made it so clear.

We couldn't wait to start trying again, and it took 3 months. Forever when you want a baby so bad. 7 1/2 weeks later, our baby was gone. Heartbroken again, and so much physical and mental pain that I never would have expected to experience TWICE. Twice. Why? After testing, waiting a month per doctors orders, being referred to an infertility specialist in case we wanted to go that route, we were anxiously and nervously waiting to be able to try again. God blessed us with a sweet baby that very first month. And here we are, 21 weeks later with sweet baby number three (or five).  Our little rainbow after the storm baby. 

This baby is more wanted than anything. After two healthy pregnancies with Parker and Hudson, I just assumed it would be like that every time, and it wasn't.

Still at 21 weeks, I am nervous every single day of this pregnancy. It's hard to relax when things went wrong twice. I am trying my hardest to enjoy these 40 weeks, knowing they are most likely my last as a pregnant mama... and it's making it that much more special feeling this sweet baby kick and reminding me how blessed and grateful we are.

We chose to not find out the gender this time. It's just so not important to us after all we've been through. A healthy baby is truly all that matters. 

And I hear that that delivery room surprise is just amazing.

Parker says girl, Hudson says boy.

And Hudson is the sweetest... he'll just come up and smoosh his little lips on my belly and give it a kiss. Sweetest brothers ever. They are going to be so great, I can't even wait to see them as big brothers together.

Parker was absolutely devastated after losing our two babies... he kept saying "when do we get a baby to keep? Why does God keep taking our babies?" I think he's almost nervous to get attached to this baby until it's actually here. My poor sensitive little guy.

So happy to have two sweet babies to snuggle for eternity when we get to Heaven. Mama can't wait to meet you, little loves.

Thanks for sharing in our family's journey. And here's some pictures over the past couple of years (gasp) since I've majorly slacked :)

 20 weeks. Half way there, baby love.